Motivation Monday: Rollercoaster Ride

I am now a member

Happy Monday everyone
I’ve had a busy week or so (posted about here if anyone’s interested) and this next week is set to be a rollercoaster….

Today I have my last counselling session with my current counsellor. I’m anxious about it, I’m really worried I’m going to cry when its time to say goodbye…like this is actually goodbye …forever! I’ve been thinking…it amazes me how he can walk away from this situation (not like that but…) and carry on without knowing how it ends. That would drive me insane! Lol I know they’re trained for stuff and they don’t get emotionally involved etc and I’m not the most important person in the world etc but still… does that mean all counsellors are capable of putting down a good book 3 chapters from the end and never even googling to find out the ending? Lol I suppose this is why I couldn’t be a counsellor – despite him telling me (repeatedly) I should consider it. The other reason I’m anxious is because saying goodbye to him means saying hello to a brand new counsellor at some point in the next few weeks…and seeing as there IS NO turnover/hand-over point (trust me…I’ve asked…there are no notes, no meetings nothing) I will have to tell the newbie my whole situation…from the start…in detail! Maybe I should just send him a link to my blog and wait for him to contact me once he’s caught up lol

Tomorrow I have THE dentist appointment…the biggie! (posted here) I have booked 2 days off work to recover…or just lay there and die for a few days. I don’t think I would be any good to anyone turning up miserable, unable to talk and drugged up to my eyeballs. Its not even anything massive being done to my mouth – well the equivalent of 4 fillings in one go… but seeing as my migraines have been full force over the last few weeks I’m kind of pre-empting their strike and covering my arse.

Wednesday…I will be recovering and I have planned to spend the day getting some posts written up – finally. I have so many ideas and brainstorms for posts but its just a case of writing them all down. Also since sorting out my bosses house – SO many trips to the charity shop…to the point where the women who work there no longer bother hiding their ‘urgh’ faces at the sight of more bags of clothing… I have been inspired to sort out my own. I have loads of clothes I don’t wear, I’ve kept some ‘just in case’ for years now…so whilst drugged up I will sort through them at my leisure and hopefully I’ll feel a little lighter all round after that.

Thursday… I am going with hubby to meet HIS therapist! I am nervous as hell…firstly because I don’t know what she’s going to say. The last time I went into a room with my husband and a professional was the day that hubby told me the truth and dropped his bombshell (posted here) so I’m sure you can understand why I’m a bit anxious, in the back of my mind I’ll be walking into a room with those two already knowing what’s coming and he will drop another one…. BUT apparently I’m going because she wants to meet me and has done from day one – to get my thoughts and everything else I suppose. Secondly I’m worried about dropping him into it and telling her things they haven’t covered yet or he’s not comfortable with; I spoke to my counsellor about it and he laughed and said its funny how much I put on my own shoulders and how responsible I feel. He reassured me she’s ready for most things and that I need to be honest to help my husband AND myself. Also its going to be hard going into a new surrounding and meeting a new person as I’m so used to my counsellor and his little room…lots of changes…Beth doesn’t like change lol (how ironic!)

Friday I am meeting up with a blogging friend…that’s right Beetley Pete (and his lovely wife ) I’m excited and nervous as its our first meeting but more excited than anything else, I get to get out and see someone outside of my house and job and just be a human for a few hours! No secrets, Pete has known me (in the blog world) before AND after the bombshell, he’s read me at my worst, he knows my secrets…I think that’s a good thing ha ha Plus there’s coffee involved so… its win win in my book lol

Over the weekend we have a friends leaving DO so another excuse to dress up and get out for a while

My Goals:

• I am itching to do a new course and now I have a regular income I’m considering signing up to one however apparently I’m meant to do a manual handling course for my job anyway so that could scratch that itch for now. Either way I want to research options for the future and find out when/where/how to do the work related one

• Throw out some clothes as mentioned above

• Get some blogging done including my next instalment for the character post on The MisAdventures of Vanilla, The community storyboard and another RCC post  <— my latest posts on those are linked here if anyones missed them. I caught up with a handful of blogs over the weekend and loved it so I’m going to aim to catch up with maybe 2 or 3 a day (start small considering the other goals) and I’ve still got those awards to pass on too.

• Keep learning how to spell words -posted about here- I learned how to spell necessary and definitely over the last week and I’m (embarrassingly) proud of myself lol

• Get a photo of me, Pete and Mrs Pete (that OK with you Pete?) I’m loving my photos at the moment… making new memories I suppose rather than pretending that nothing has happened and nothing is happening, I like to remind myself that I have moved forward in the past few months, that I am doing things for ME now and photos are my way of doing that

I think that should do it

PoGeHaGo:

• I am thankful for plans, making plans, making lists, being organised…getting through them and ticking them off…accomplishments and small victories
• I am proud of myself for recognising the changes ahead…but aiming to kick the shit out of them and roll with it
• I am happy I’ve had some time to do things I enjoy lately (inc blogging) and that I will have some more time to continue this week

Hope you all have a great week

xBx

Related Articles

• Realising? (brandonbored.wordpress.com)
• The letter to my ex’s Counsellor (bellicosefrank.wordpress.com)
• Help is out there on the radio – you are not alone (maggiecurrie.com)
• Treading water just to stay afloat. (iknowsquat.wordpress.com)
• Bedtime Blog: Disgust, Depression, and Dependency (sexnxstaci.wordpress.com)
• New Blogging Schedule! (booksandotherloves.wordpress.com)
• Just riding that rollercoaster (jesusfreakout.wordpress.com)